Important Questions to Ask Your Spouse… An Excerpt from My Book on the Dallas Theological Seminary Website
Here is a helpful excerpt from my book that appears on the DTS website. It includes a variety of extremely useful questions for you and your intercultural fiance or spouse to ask each other. Check it out at http://www.dts.edu/publications/read/excerpt-from-your-intercultural-marriage-marla-deshong-alupoaicei/.
I recently heard Brenna Stull, otherwise known as “Coach Mom” and the mother of five kids, speak at a MOPS meeting. I was so encouraged by the spiritual and practical principles that she shared at the meeting that I went home and immediately ordered her book Coach Mom: 7 Strategies for Organizing Your Family into An All-Star Team. It’s from New Hope Publishers. (By the way, God has granted me the privilege of meeting a couple of the employees of New Hope at conferences, and they are fantastic!)
Brenna talks about how we can learn to work smarter, not harder, and how to organize our priorities, our homes and our families in order to better support God’s call and His purposes for our lives. I was challenged and encouraged by what she shared. In chapter 9, she notes that many of our decisions are based on fear rather than faith. For example, we don’t want our children to fall behind others athletically, so we overextend ourselves in order to put them into 2 or 3 sports even though that stresses us out. Instead, we should ask ourselves these questions before committing to any activity:
1. Does what I’m doing support my purpose?
2. Does this even warrant my time and energy?
I’m now reading the “Clutter Busting” section, and I am really loving that. Now, on to bust my clutter… But that’s definitely easier said than done with a 16-month-old son and a two-month-old daughter. Can anyone relate?
“The Link Between” is one of the best websites I’ve seen on the topic of intercultural marriage. Definitely check it out at http://thelinkbetween.wordpress.com/.
I also love the Marriage Missions website. It contains lots of fantastic articles for intercultural couples. Check out this one: http://www.marriagemissions.com/intercultural-marriages-assumptionsmy-way-the-right-way/
Also check out this intriguing site and interview: http://matadornetwork.com/abroad/on-blogs-of-the-world-intercultural-marriage-and-travel-writing-an-interview-with-liz-chatburn-of-pocket-cultures/
I’ve been contacted recently by several media folks requesting statistics, information and personal stories related to intercultural marriage. How exciting! Looks like people are catching on to the crucial need for resources on this topic. Let me know if I can be of help to you by providing articles, resources, recommendations or advice on this topic. You can also glean lots from my book, titled Your Intercultural Marriage: A Guide to a Healthy, Happy Relationship from Moody Publishers. It’s available on Amazon and at bookstores. Thanks!
Hello! Here’s a great article on the do’s and don’ts of blogging from Michael Hyatt, who operates an “Intentional Leadership” blog. Since most of us have blogs, I thought I’d share it with my readers. Thanks!
I recently saw a quote that stopped me in my tracks. It said, “Choose your love; then love your choice.”
God spoke to my heart through that quotation, reminding me that love is a choice. Isn’t it sad that we fall in love and believe that our significant other is pretty much perfect in every way, and then as time passes, we tend to dwell on the things about him or her that we don’t like?
I’m also impressed by the double entendre in this quote. Not only are we called to love our choice (as in the PERSON that we chose), but we are also called to love our choice (as in the fact that WE chose that person and it’s up to us to live with the consequences). Every day, we must make it a point to focus on our spouse’s best qualities and help him or her to become who he/she is meant to be in Christ.
Yesterday I was thinking that it would be cool to list 31 things I love about my husband, in celebration of Halloween. So here goes:
1) I know he loves me.
2) He buys me roses.
3) He loves the Lord.
4) He’s very intelligent.
5) He is well spoken and gifted with languages.
6) He has adapted extremely well to life in America.
7) He understands my near-addiction to McDonald’s Coke.
He is a fantastic dad.
9) He is not a violent person (both of us have been impacted by domestic violence, so this means a lot to me).
10) He loves good food.
11) He is amazing to travel with and can decode any type of map.
12) He works very hard at his job and is dependable.
13) He likes to spend lots of time with his family.
14) He is a good friend.
15) He is sensitive and caring.
16) He loves music.
17) He likes to exercise (sometimes, anyway!)
18) He loves to read and discuss books with me.
19) He’s hot (why did I not mention that before?????)
20) He can carry on an interesting and intelligent conversation on any topic – so useful at parties.
21) He doesn’t drink, smoke, do drugs, or anything like that.
22) He cares about my safety and that of the children.
23) He does tons of research before buying anything to be sure we get the best value.
24) He is tall, dark and handsome.
25) He enjoys going to church and connecting with friends.
26) He makes sacrifices for me and the kids.
27) He left his home country and family in order to marry me and move to the States!
28) He is a true international, a citizen of the world.
29) He is very devoted to our marriage.
30) He has a gentle spirit.
31) He has compassion for people and roots for the underdog. That will be helpful when the Rangers play the Giants tonight!