Content Bottom

Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire…

Filed Under Children, Communication, Faith and Values, Family and Friends, Food, God\'s Plan for Marriage, Intercultural Marriage, Resources, Stress and Conflict, Success, Time, Writing Inspiration
Posted on November 20, 2009 @ 2:55 pm by admin 

Is this your vision of Christmas? If you live in England, it might be, along with lighting a Yule log and gathering with your extended family to eat a traditional pudding. Or maybe you’re from Australia and your family always goes to the beach on Christmas. For those in intercultural marriages, expectations and culture clashes can cause conflict around the holidays.

For example, what if you expect turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes, and pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving, but your wife wants to make lamb, rice and baklava? What if your husband always put the Christmas tree up on Christmas Eve, but you want to put up the tree and decorate it the day after Thanksgiving, because that’s how your family always did it? What if one spouse wants the kids to believe in Santa Claus, but the other one doesn’t? What if your in-laws expect you to drive 8 hours to visit them and a huge mish-mash of siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles (including that person no one really seems to know…), but you were hoping for a quiet holiday at home?

Issues like these can wreak havoc in a marriage unless couples discuss their holiday expectations with each other. In my book, Your Intercultural Marriage: A Guide to a Healthy, Happy Relationship, I offer an in-depth discussion of the holidays and how intercultural couples can graciously create a holiday season that is enjoyable for their families. Here are few questions to help couples sort out their values, customs, traditions and preferences with regard to celebrating the holidays:    

 

  • What traditional holidays do you celebrate in your culture? Which are the “biggest” or most important to you?
  • How did/does your family of origin celebrate these holidays? What do you like specifically about their traditions?
  • Which of your family’s traditions would you like to incorporate into our own family? Which do you NOT want to incorporate?
  • Which foods do you eat on each holiday? Which traditional foods are your favorite? (For instance, my grandma’s turkey dressing, my aunt Jana’s cheesy mashed potatoes, and my mom’s applesauce cake are out of this world!!! I eat them every Thanksgiving.)
  • What are your thoughts about Santa Claus/St. Nick? Do you want to tell our kids that they bring gifts on Christmas, or not? 
  • Did your family tend to spend a lot of money on holiday gifts? Do they expect to receive expensive gifts or money from us for the holidays? If so, what kind, and how much?
  • What religious or spiritual traditions do you follow on the holidays? Why are these important to you? Do you plan to keep these after marriage?
  • Describe a typical Thanksgiving/Christmas/Easter with your family.
  • What values and traditions do we want to teach our children during the holidays? 
  • What are your expectations regarding us visiting your parents or family for the holidays? Are you open to us alternating between visiting my family and your family?

I hope these are helpful to you! If you have additional suggestions, please post a comment here! Thanks so much. Happy Thanskgiving and Merry Christmas to you!

 

Leave a Comment

GREAT Questions for Intercultural Couples

Filed Under Communication, Faith and Values, Family and Friends, Food, God\'s Plan for Marriage, Intercultural Marriage, Resources, Stress and Conflict, Success, Time, Writing Inspiration
Posted on November 16, 2009 @ 8:39 pm by admin 

Here are some of the most important questions to ask before entering an intercultural marriage:

1) What are your spiritual beliefs? Do you attend church? Do you read the Bible or other religious books? How involved are you in spiritual activities?

2) What types of food and drink do you enjoy? At what times do you typically eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner? How often do you go out to eat? Do you like to cook?

3) Which holidays do you celebrate? What traditions and foods does your family enjoy on these holidays?

4) Are you an early bird or a night owl? How does this affect your daily schedule? What does your “perfect day” look like?

5) Do you consider yourself an optimist, a pessimist, a realist, or something else? When you face a difficult situation, what tends to be your first response?

6) How do you deal with interpersonal conflict? Do you tend to fight or take flight? How did your family of origin handle conflict?

7) What type of work do you do? What type of work do you expect to do after marriage?

8) Do you plan to attend graduate school or seminary, get additional work training, or take other educational courses after marriage?

9) What is your current financial situation? How much debt do you have?

10) Do you want to have children? If so, how many, and when? What is your perspective on marital intimacy? Do you believe in using birth control?  

11) How would you describe your relationship with your parents, siblings, and other family members? What was your parents’ marriage like?

If you’re in an intercultural marriage (or considering one) and you are looking for helpful resources on the topic, check these out:

Additional Resources for Intercultural Couples

Intercultural Marriage: Promises and Pitfalls, 3rd edition, by Dugan Romano

Mixed Matches by Joel Crohn

101 Questions to Ask Before You Get Engaged by H. Norman Wright and Gary J. Oliver

Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs

The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman

Before You Say I Do by H. Norman Wright

Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts by Les and Leslie Parrott

How to Save Your Marriage Alone by Ed Wheat

Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas

Your Intercultural Marriage: A Guide to a Healthy, Happy Relationship by Marla Alupoaicei

 

1 Comment

Exciting Interviews on Intercultural Marriage!

Filed Under Communication, Faith and Values, Family and Friends, Food, God\'s Plan for Marriage, Resources, Stress and Conflict, Success, Time, Writing Inspiration
Posted on September 26, 2009 @ 10:31 am by admin 

This week, I wrapped up two interviews on the topic of my book, Your Intercultural Marriage: A Guide to a Healthy, Happy Relationship. One interview was with Dr. Gary Chapman on his show “Building Relationships with Gary Chapman,” and the other was with Tracy Haney for PrimeTime America on the Moody stations. I’d like to thank both hosts for their excellent facilitation and feedback! I’m excited to hear the interviews on air. The PrimeTime America interview will air on Moody radio next week sometime-stay posted for an update! The interview with Gary Chapman will air on Nov. 14th. Thanks so much, friends! Blessings!   

1 Comment

Now Available for Pre-Order… Your Intercultural Marriage!

Filed Under Articles for Caregivers, Children, Communication, Faith and Values, Family and Friends, Food, God\'s Plan for Marriage, Illness and Grief, Intercultural Marriage, Mount Hermon Christian Writers Conference, Resources, Stress and Conflict, Success, Time, Writing Inspiration
Posted on April 27, 2009 @ 5:26 pm by admin 

I’m pleased to announce that you can now pre-order my new book, Your Intercultural Marriage: A Guide to a Healthy, Happy Relationship, for a great discount on Amazon.com! Click here to order and to read more about the book: http://www.amazon.com/Your-Intercultural-Marriage-Healthy-Relationship/dp/0802418546/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1240867234&sr=8-2

Moody Publishers is releasing the book, and I’m thrilled to be working with them! It’s so exciting to have this, my “heart book,” finally come to fruition. Here’s a sneak peek at some of the highlights:

-Personal stories, insights, and advice from hundreds of intercultural couples

-Tips for anticipating and working through conflict in a healthy way

-Relevant and vital questions to ask your fiance or spouse on a variety of topics, including food, finances, intimacy, family, child rearing, and more

-A close-up and intriguing look at the intercultural marriages in the Bible 

-A list of fun intercultural movies to watch at the end of each chapter

-Practical resources and websites for further information, advice, and research

Now, you can download chapter one of the book for FREE on this website, Leap of Faith! Simply click on the box on the right on my home page. Enjoy! 

1 Comment

What a Mission Statement IS… and What it’s NOT

Filed Under Articles for Caregivers, Children, Communication, Faith and Values, Family and Friends, Food, Generation Hex, God\'s Plan for Marriage, Illness and Grief, Intercultural Marriage, Mount Hermon Christian Writers Conference, Parenting Your Parents with Grace, Poetry, Resources, Stress and Conflict, Success, Time, Writing Inspiration, flow
Posted on November 15, 2008 @ 2:47 pm by admin 

Your mission statement should be a simple summary of who you are and where you’re going in life. It reminds you and others of what your call is.  

Here is a helpful list of what your mission is NOT.

Your mission is NOT: your JOB. Your current JOB is not the same as your mission. Your job will change several times during your lifetime; your mission most likely won’t.

It is NOT: your ROLE. First, you were a baby, then a child, then a teen, then a college student, then a “real” adult, then an employee, then possibly a husband or wife, then maybe a mom or dad, a businessperson, an artist, a writer, and so on. But your role is not the same as your mission. Don’t let your current role overshadow your mission.

It is NOT: your TO-DO LIST. I don’t know about you, but I sure do have the tendency to let my to-do list take over my day sometimes. And when I do, I notice the empty feeling I have when I realize that my relationships with God and others have taken the backseat to “urgent” tasks that are really unimportant in the grand scheme of things.    

Other truths from The Path:

You probably are already living your mission in some form or fashion. You just need to think about it, define it, limit it enough that it can be helpful, and then use it.

You are important enough to have a mission. Everyone needs one.

Your mission doesn’t have to be grandiose. You can change the world one life at a time, even if your job or ministry is behind the scenes or seemingly not that important.

Your mission doesn’t have to be full of suffering to be valuable.

Your geography is not your destiny. If you’re not living in a place or situation where you can fulfill your mission, move on!

If you’re not married and you are involved in a dead-end relationship that is keeping you from fulfilling your mission in life, ditch it. Life’s too short! Focus on what God has gifted you to do.    

Leave a Comment

Best Mexican Food in the World

Filed Under Family and Friends, Food
Posted on November 10, 2008 @ 5:56 pm by admin 

Okay… as a foodie, I just have to give a shout out to my friends at Cristina’s Fine Mexican Restaurant in Frisco and let my readers know that this restaurant serves the best Mexican food on earth. Plus, the service is fantastic. The waiters and waitresses have become personal friends of mine and are just the best EVER!!!!

Also, the manager, Francisco, is truly a wonderful man who will ensure that every element of your experience is fabulous. 

The chips and salsa are the bomb (best chunky salsa anywhere, ever - try it if you don’t believe me). I love the chicken fajitas, tacos de fajitas, and so many more dishes… and my husband thinks the chicken flautas are the most amazing dish, which they are. Oh, and for something a bit healthier, the chicken tortilla soup is fabulous, as well.

If you live in the Metroplex and you’ve not tried Cristina’s, you are missing out, folks. Stop by and say hi, and tell them I sent you! :)

Here is the website for more info: www.cristinasmex.com. The address is 8210 Highway 121, Frisco, Texas, 75034. The phone number for reservations or parties is: (214) 618-8230.

Enjoy!

3 Comments

The Latte Factor

Filed Under Food, Resources, Success
Posted on August 7, 2008 @ 12:09 am by admin 

I’ve been reading a book called Smart Women Finish Rich by David Bach. It was recommended to me by a Christian friend who knew that my husband and I are working on tightening up our finances so we can reach certain financial and ministry goals. 

 

Bach talks about “the latte factor.” He talks to many women who say they can’t save money, but when he asks them about their morning routine, they admit that they stop by Starbucks every morning for a latte and a muffin… or coffee cake… or a scone. That adds up to at least $6 a day. Bach says that if you can cut out the latte and save that money, you can save $180 or more a month. Not bad!

 

I’m not a huge coffee drinker, but the other day, I decided to try a McDonald’s vanilla iced coffee. (The summer temps in Texas soar above 100 degrees every day, which is CRAZY!) Anyway, the iced coffee was delicious, and I shelled out exactly $1.72 for a small one, which is in a Starbucks venti-sized cup.

 

SO… if you can’t completely forego the coffee, maybe try Mickey D’s! :) Read below for some great summer snack tips.     

 

Leave a Comment

Great Snacks under 100 Calories!

Filed Under Communication, Faith and Values, Family and Friends, Food, Resources, Stress and Conflict, Success, Time
Posted on August 7, 2008 @ 12:00 am by admin 

So… I’ve been writing so much about Generation Hex that I decided to share some great health tips with you today! I try to stay in shape, eat well, and keep my “temple” in good condition. Sometimes it’s tough, though, when that chocolate brownie ice cream starts calling my name from the freezer…  

 

Let’s face it - I like SNACKS! What kind of snacks are actually healthy? Here are 20 snacks under 100 calories:

 

1 Fudgsicle or popsicle

3 cups of air-popped popcorn

1 large apple

1 small banana

1/2 whole-wheat bagel with 1 teaspoon peanut butter or lowfat cream cheese

1 cup Kashi puffed wheat cereal or plain Cheerios

6 vanilla wafers

1 handful Triscuits, Wheat Thins, or Club crackers

1 small pear

2 ounces of low-fat cheese

6 ounces of nonfat yogurt (I like Yoplait.)

1 small orange

1 kiwi fruit

1/2 cup of fruit sorbet

6 ounces of apricot nectar

3 tablespoons of raisins

4 Hershey’s Kisses

2 tablespoons of almonds

1 cup of Teddy Grahams 

1/4 cup of dried fruit

 

Have other suggestions? Please post them here.    

Leave a Comment

The Smallest in Christ

Filed Under Articles for Caregivers, Children, Communication, Faith and Values, Family and Friends, Food, Generation Hex, God\'s Plan for Marriage, Illness and Grief, Intercultural Marriage, Mount Hermon Christian Writers Conference, Parenting Your Parents with Grace, Poetry, Resources, Stress and Conflict, Success, Time, Writing Inspiration, flow
Posted on July 20, 2008 @ 4:11 pm by admin 

If I had to choose one Bible verse to characterize the cry of my heart and the attitude I want to have toward the Lord, I would pick Psalm 19:14: 

 

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.

 

When everything is stripped away and I’m hunkered down at my desk with a messy stack of papers, books, a tall cup of Starbucks and a cat wedged between my monitor and my keyboard in a blissful state of ”desk sprawl,” I just want to be obedient, available, and willing to express the message that the Lord wants me to share with the world.  

 

Recently, I was reading a missions report from a Russian pastor. This humble, godly man risks his life to drive his car hundreds of miles over frozen lakes with NO ROADS and NO SIGNS to visit Christians in isolated villages in Siberia. Often, his car breaks through the ice and almost falls into the freezing water. It’s a true miracle that he makes it across that frozen taiga. Every few miles, he faces a life-threatening situation, and God rescues him. Over and over. At any moment, his life could end. And sometimes he does all of this to reach JUST ONE PERSON for the sake of Jesus Christ. Most amazing of all, at the bottom of the page, after describing these truly harrowing adventures, this man signed his name “The Smallest in Christ.”

 

Wow. Ouch. God, is my desire to be THE SMALLEST IN CHRIST? Do I consider it a privilege to be last so others can be first? As an author, (yes, even as a Christian author) I see that there’s a lot of positioning and placement done, lots of fuss and seeking after fame, lots of buzz about “who’s the next big name,” “who’s the next rising star.” 

 

I’m pretty sure that God is calling us to eliminate all of that and instead, to call on the Name that is above every name.

 

Like Christ, we have to be willing to give up any vestige of glory and allow ourselves to be THE SMALLEST IN CHRIST. Let’s make His name large. He must increase. We must decrease.     

 

Comments? Please share them here. Thank you! 

1 Comment

My “Book Baby” Has Finally Arrived!

Filed Under Articles for Caregivers, Children, Communication, Faith and Values, Family and Friends, Food, Generation Hex, God\'s Plan for Marriage, Intercultural Marriage, Mount Hermon Christian Writers Conference, Parenting Your Parents with Grace, Poetry, Resources, Stress and Conflict, Success, Time, Writing Inspiration, flow
Posted on July 17, 2008 @ 11:32 pm by admin 

Other authors have told me that holding that first copy of your new book makes a writer feel a bit like a new mom holding a newborn in her arms - a fitting analogy. I don’t have any kids yet, but today, I received the FIRST copy of my latest book, Generation Hex. Wow! It’s amazing to have a year’s worth of research, blood, sweat and tears pay off and hold that slick, shiny tome in hand. Definitely a joyous, surreal moment!

 

Dillon Burroughs, my co-author, and I are planning an exciting “8/8/08 Book Launch” on, that’s right, AUGUST 8, 2008. We hope you will be willing to go online and buy a copy of the book on that date! It’s also the date when the Olympics starts, so please let that remind you. :) Gen Hex should be in stores by then, and the book is also available on www.christianbook.com, www.amazon.com, www.barnesandnoble.com, and more.

 

Of course, we also encourage you to support your local Christian bookstore, so stop by and pick up one or two copies for yourself, friends, your pastor and youth pastor, teens or family members. In Generation Hex, we take a unique approach by creating open dialogue with Wiccans and New-Agers and interviewing many actual pagans in order to present a true and balanced perspective on Wicca, New Age and pagan spirituality. However, we also approach the book with solid theology and a conservative biblical foundation, rooted in Scripture. For the book, Dillon and I interviewed numerous practitioners of Wicca and other pagan faiths to discover what they really believe and how Christians can most effectively reach out to them with the gospel.

      

Publishers Weekly offers some fantastic reviews of newly released books. Here’s a cool one related to Generation Hex: http://www.publishersweekly.com/article/CA6577725.html?industryid=47139

 

We’re asking YOU - our friends, family members, author pals, fabulous and wise intercultural couples, fun colleagues and website cohorts - to participate in a blog tour for Generation Hex, and we hope you’ll help us out!!! If you would like to be on the blog tour and receive a FREE copy of the book from Harvest House, please e-mail Marla at marla_alupoaicei@yahoo.com. Thanks! We appreciate you.

4 Comments

Next Page »

Bad Behavior has blocked 117 access attempts in the last 7 days.