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Seasons of Life, Marriage and the Writing Journey

Filed Under Uncategorized
Posted on July 29, 2010 @ 4:48 pm by admin 

I’ve spoken to several men and women recently who seem to be trudging dolefully through a tough stage in their lives and their marriages, as though they’re dragging a ten-ton stone behind them. I understand completely. Our son, Evan, just turned one on July 6. Having him has been an unspeakable joy, yet this has also been by far the most challenging year of my life. (The fact that I’m eight months pregnant with our second child may have something to do with that!)

Life changes, big and small, cause upheaval. Maybe for you, it’s been a move, financial struggles, a marriage, a divorce, a death in the family, or the loss of a job. I don’t think that I’ve ever encountered so many people struggling with an identity crisis, a feeling of wondering what on earth happened to the person that they used to be. And yes, I’ve wondered that pretty much every day myself since the day my baby son was born. 

What has gotten me through is the fact that even when I’m no longer sure how all of the complex aspects of myself, my family life, and my creative pursuits fit together, God is. He knows who I am. And more important, I know who He is. HE IS THE GREAT I AM. Isn’t it interesting and odd that when Moses asked, “Who should I say you are?” God said simply, “I AM.” His identity is in His being, His perfection, His holiness, His integrity. He does not have to DO anything to be Himself; He simply has to BE. 

The truth is, you are. God made you. You are here on the earth, and you are here for a reason. No one has ever been like you, with your unique combination of characteristics, personality traits, quirks, sense of humor, gifts, and abilities. If you’re a writer, God has gifted you with a voice and a way to write and describe things that is special and particular to you. If you don’t write those ideas down and share them with the world, no one else will.

Part of loving God, loving yourself and loving other people is using your voice and your gifts to communicate your personal message.     

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Recommendation from a Client and Fellow Author

Filed Under Writing Inspiration
Posted on July 27, 2010 @ 4:45 pm by admin 

I was inspired and encouraged by this recommendation for my developmental writing and editing services from author Dave Sterrett. I edited two books for him, both of which were published and one of which has become a Christian bestseller! Congratulations, Dave!

“Marla Alupoaicei is one of the best writers and editors in the Christian market today. Very few Christian editors and writers have the ability to meticulously edit while adding creative suggestions with theological soundness. Marla, on the other hand, provides all three: accurate grammar, innovative ideas on your manuscript, and biblical accuracy. I highly recommend her writing and editing services!”

- Dave Sterrett, popular speaker and author of “O” God: A Dialogue on Truth and Oprah’s Spirituality and Why Trust Jesus?  Website: www.davesterrett.com

 

Thanks so much, Dave! For all of you writers out there seeking editing help or publication, please contact me at marla_alupoaicei@yahoo.com for more info on my writing and editing services. I look forward to the privilege of working with you to develop your manuscript, improve your platform and help your publishing dreams come true!

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Tips and Tricks for Writers

Filed Under Resources, Success, Writing Inspiration
Posted on July 27, 2010 @ 4:41 pm by admin 

As an author and speaker, I often cross paths with men and women who write and want to know some of the “tips and tricks” of the publishing trade. Thought I’d share some helpful advice here!

1) Know your subject. Do your research. Double-check your sources. Perform original interviews to gain unique material. Find a cool angle and hook that give you a cutting-edge perspective on your topic - a perspective that no one else has. Do the legwork to find out about your competition and be sure to include that information in your book proposal.  

2) Work hard, and keep a positive attitude. Accept others’ comments with grace, and always carefully consider any pointers you receive. But trust your instincts, too. Don’t be discouraged by the market or by other people’s negativity. There are lots of “joy stealers” in this world! Trust that the Lord has given you something to say and a venue in which to say it. Pray hard and persevere!

3) Be teachable. Join a writer’s group and submit your work regularly for critique. Ask trusted writers for their honest feedback.

4) WRITE. EVERY DAY. Don’t spend so much time reading that you don’t actually write. Writers write. It’s that simple!  

5) Research your subject matter on Amazon and the web. Order books related to your topic and also be sure to get a copy of the most recent Writer’s Market. Know which publishers accept the kind of work you are doing. Send them only what they ask for.

6) Don’t rush. Be sure your work is ready and as close to perfect as possible before submitting it. When you think it’s ready, submit it to your writer’s group for their critique. Then sit on it for a few weeks. Read it, pray over it, and give yourself a chance to be inspired and make your final edits/changes before you send it to a publisher.

7) If you tend to struggle with correct spelling, grammar, plot development, etc., hire a professional editor to help you develop your ideas and edit your manuscript before you send it out. For an affordable fee, you can get your manuscript in tip-top shape, learn publishing tips from the pros, and greatly increase your chances of successful publication!

For more info on Marla’s editing services, e-mail her at marla_alupoaicei@yahoo.com. Thank you!    

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FamilyLife Interview on Intercultural Marriage

Filed Under Intercultural Marriage, Uncategorized
Posted on May 16, 2010 @ 8:49 am by admin 

In November, I had the privilege of traveling to Little Rock to be interviewed by Dennis Rainey and Bob Lepine on the topic of intercultural marriage and my book, Your Intercultural Marriage: A Guide to a Healthy, Happy Relationship. I shared some juicy tidbits about the intriguing twists and turns of our romance and marriage journey, as well as practical tips and helpful marriage advice for couples. Here’s a link to the video feed if you’d like to watch it! http://www.familylife.com/site/c.dnJHKLNnFoG/b.5834071/k.14B6/Marla_Alupoaicei__Intercultural_Marriages.htm Blessings.

 

 

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Women Living Well

Filed Under Children, Communication, Faith and Values, Family and Friends, God\'s Plan for Marriage, Intercultural Marriage, Resources, Stress and Conflict, Success, Time
Posted on May 15, 2010 @ 8:38 am by admin 

Today, I’d love to recommmend that you visit the website Women Living Well at http://www.womenlivingwell-courtney.blogspot.com/. I’m inspired by Courtney’s energy as she invests her heart and her time into caring for her family and herself. She is one of the few people I’ve seen who really considers homemaking and caring for her family to be a high calling and an art. It’s refreshing to read about her passion and her commitment to God and to her family.

On Courtney’s site, you can watch lots of video clips from her appearances on TV shows like Rachael Ray in which she presents her meal tips, health strategies, and marriage advice. She also presents tons of other helpful articles and quick, fun ideas, including:

-Menus and recipes that both adults and kids will like

-Easy, inexpensive gifts to make for teachers

-Devotional prompts for moms

-Great organizing and cleaning tips

And more! Courtney says that her favorite Scripture verse is Galatians 6:9, “Do not grow weary in doing good, for in due season you will reap a harvest if you do not give up.” Check out her site; I think you’ll be inspired by her. For me as a writer with a 10-month old son and another baby on the way in September, I always enjoy a bit of motivation and encouragement from someone as “with it” as Courtney!   
  

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Book Review: Thin Places by Mary DeMuth

Filed Under Communication, Faith and Values, Family and Friends, Resources, Stress and Conflict, Success, Writing Inspiration
Posted on March 2, 2010 @ 3:16 pm by admin 

Several weeks ago on a Saturday, I received my copy of Mary DeMuth’s memoir, Thin Places, from Zondervan Publishers. I had been anxiously awaiting this book since Mary is a personal friend and writing mentor of mine, and I’ve been so moved by the personal stories that she has shared at writing conferences and in our conversations. I immediately opened the book and began reading. About two hours later, I was still standing in my kitchen, reading…

Mary has done a masterful job of weaving her past, present and future into an inspiring tome that will touch your heart. God’s grace, forgiveness and healing power resonate from every page. If you or someone you know has been hurt by abuse, especially sexual abuse, you will be blessed and encouraged by Mary’s remarkable story. I laughed as I read some pages and cried as I read many others. My heart broke for all those children who have been hurt by the adults they should have been able to trust.

Yet Thin Places never sinks into self-pity, despair or hopelessness. To the contrary, I found hope leaping off of every page. Though I (thankfully) was never a victim of sexual abuse, both my family and my husband’s family have a history of domestic violence. This has caused me to struggle with many of the same feelings of pain, helplessness, and low self esteem that Mary has experienced. Her ability to forgive her oppressors and rise above her feelings of victimization have inspired me and helped me to do the same. 

Probably the most compelling and life-transforming truth that I have gained from reading Thin Places is the reality that we do not have to DO anything or BE a certain kind of person to deserve to be loved by God and others. God loves us because of Who He Is. And God loves us because of Who We Are - His precious daughters and sons. And we’re called to love others not based on their performance or their ability to be perfect, say all the right things, and do all the right things. We love people BECAUSE we are all flawed and in need of God’s grace. We don’t love them IN SPITE OF the fact that they are flawed.  

This book will empower you to jump off of the hamster wheel of trying to earn favor from God and others; instead, you will be inspired to get rid of your spiritual, emotional and physical baggage and simply rest in the arms of Jesus.

“Sometimes I’m still that little girl fighting against the grief of the world, longing for a snatch of light in the midst of dark days,” Mary writes on pages 20 and 21 of Thin Places. Readers will identify with Mary’s pain and vulnerability. They’ll also rejoice in her remarkable gift for trusting the Lord to transform that pain into triumph through His grace and redemptive power. Every page emanates with the struggle with a young girl who has been wronged, yet still clings to her faith in a Savior who loves her and wants her to find wholeness and healing.

I’ve read quite a few memoirs, and I’d say that Thin Places has pulled the curtain of shame off of the issue of childhood sexual abuse, just as Frank McCourt’s memoir Angela’s Ashes poignantly illuminated the shocking problem of childhood poverty in Ireland. Like McCourt’s book, Thin Places is a well-wrought and luminous account of a life journey that led from dungeons of darkness to expansive places of light and hope. Mary’s book is available on www.amazon.com and at bookstores. I highly recommend it!   

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Need Professional Writing/Editing?

Filed Under Communication, Resources, Success, Time, Writing Inspiration
Posted on January 7, 2010 @ 12:09 pm by admin 

Welcome to Leap of Faith! It’s the New Year, and most of us have made exciting and life-transforming goals for ourselves and our careers. Your goals may include:

-Creating updated newsletters or marketing materials for your company or ministry

-Increasing income and maximizing profit by honing your message and finding ways to more effectively reach your target audience

-Hiring a writer or editor to help you finish your book and get a publishing contract

If you need help in these areas, Marla Alupoaicei will be pleased to use her writing/editing experience to help you accomplish these goals. A published author, professional editor and speaker, Marla has many years of experience creating powerful marketing materials and helping write and edit books for publication. 

To discuss projects and price quotes for her affordable, professional writing and editing services, please contact Marla at marla_alupoaicei@yahoo.com. Thank you! Congratulations on taking the first step to making 2010 YOUR YEAR FOR SUCCESS! 

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Ushering in a New Year of Promise

Filed Under Communication, Faith and Values, Family and Friends, Resources, Success, Time, Writing Inspiration
Posted on January 5, 2010 @ 3:58 pm by admin 

Wow! My list of New Year’s resolutions is about a mile long. I’m astonished that it could actually be 2010… Ten years have passed since 2000? God has impressed on my heart that I need to be more intentional in my relationships this year. My catchphrase for this year is CONNECTION. My goal is to invest more in people and care less about things. Spend more time and less money. Share what I’ve learned about writing, speaking, and the journey of being a creative Christian on the pilgrimage toward eternity.

Speaking of New Year’s goals, Catalin and I try to eat healthy, but we have committed to an even more healthy lifestyle. Since the New Year began, he’s been working out more on our elliptical machine, which I bought him for our anniversary last year. We had a baby in July, so I am working on losing those last five pounds to get back to my pre-baby weight! I have always been a “Cooking Light/healthy recipe” buff. One of my favorite challenges is to take fattening recipes and turn them into healthy ones. For instance, I love dips, but those can be some of the worst party foods. Why not try this fab new recipe below? I promise that you will love it and you will NOT miss the fat and calories!

 

Healthy Nine-Layer Dip

Ingredients:

1 16-oz. can fat-free refried beans

1 package Old El Paso mild taco seasoning mix

1 cup reduced-fat or fat-free sour cream

1 package store-bought guacamole (I like Wholly Guacamole.)

1 cup medium salsa

1 cup reduced-fat shredded cheese (Cheddar, Mexican or mozzarella cheese work well.)

2 medium tomatoes, diced

2 T. sliced black olives

¼ cup chopped green onions

2 T. sliced jalapenos or hot peppers (optional)

Tortilla chips (Thick chips like Tostitos Scoops work best.)

 

Directions:

1. Place refried beans in a 9×13 glass baking dish or plastic pan. (Avoid using a metal pan.) Thin beans by adding 2 T. of milk or water and mixing well. Add Old El Paso mild taco seasoning mix and mix until blended. Spread mixture smoothly in bottom of pan.

2. Layer sour cream over top. Layer guacamole over sour cream. Then layer salsa over guacamole. Sprinkle cheese over salsa to cover. Sprinkle tomatoes liberally over cheese. Arrange black olives over cheese. Sprinkle green onions over top. Sprinkle sliced jalapenos or hot peppers over top or just use a few as a garnish, if desired.   

3. Serve with tortilla chips. (Tostitos Scoops work well. I also like Tostitos Bite Size for parties-no double dipping! J) Cover and refrigerate any remaining dip.  

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Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire…

Filed Under Children, Communication, Faith and Values, Family and Friends, Food, God\'s Plan for Marriage, Intercultural Marriage, Resources, Stress and Conflict, Success, Time, Writing Inspiration
Posted on November 20, 2009 @ 2:55 pm by admin 

Is this your vision of Christmas? If you live in England, it might be, along with lighting a Yule log and gathering with your extended family to eat a traditional pudding. Or maybe you’re from Australia and your family always goes to the beach on Christmas. For those in intercultural marriages, expectations and culture clashes can cause conflict around the holidays.

For example, what if you expect turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes, and pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving, but your wife wants to make lamb, rice and baklava? What if your husband always put the Christmas tree up on Christmas Eve, but you want to put up the tree and decorate it the day after Thanksgiving, because that’s how your family always did it? What if one spouse wants the kids to believe in Santa Claus, but the other one doesn’t? What if your in-laws expect you to drive 8 hours to visit them and a huge mish-mash of siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles (including that person no one really seems to know…), but you were hoping for a quiet holiday at home?

Issues like these can wreak havoc in a marriage unless couples discuss their holiday expectations with each other. In my book, Your Intercultural Marriage: A Guide to a Healthy, Happy Relationship, I offer an in-depth discussion of the holidays and how intercultural couples can graciously create a holiday season that is enjoyable for their families. Here are few questions to help couples sort out their values, customs, traditions and preferences with regard to celebrating the holidays:    

 

  • What traditional holidays do you celebrate in your culture? Which are the “biggest” or most important to you?
  • How did/does your family of origin celebrate these holidays? What do you like specifically about their traditions?
  • Which of your family’s traditions would you like to incorporate into our own family? Which do you NOT want to incorporate?
  • Which foods do you eat on each holiday? Which traditional foods are your favorite? (For instance, my grandma’s turkey dressing, my aunt Jana’s cheesy mashed potatoes, and my mom’s applesauce cake are out of this world!!! I eat them every Thanksgiving.)
  • What are your thoughts about Santa Claus/St. Nick? Do you want to tell our kids that they bring gifts on Christmas, or not? 
  • Did your family tend to spend a lot of money on holiday gifts? Do they expect to receive expensive gifts or money from us for the holidays? If so, what kind, and how much?
  • What religious or spiritual traditions do you follow on the holidays? Why are these important to you? Do you plan to keep these after marriage?
  • Describe a typical Thanksgiving/Christmas/Easter with your family.
  • What values and traditions do we want to teach our children during the holidays? 
  • What are your expectations regarding us visiting your parents or family for the holidays? Are you open to us alternating between visiting my family and your family?

I hope these are helpful to you! If you have additional suggestions, please post a comment here! Thanks so much. Happy Thanskgiving and Merry Christmas to you!

 

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GREAT Questions for Intercultural Couples

Filed Under Communication, Faith and Values, Family and Friends, Food, God\'s Plan for Marriage, Intercultural Marriage, Resources, Stress and Conflict, Success, Time, Writing Inspiration
Posted on November 16, 2009 @ 8:39 pm by admin 

Here are some of the most important questions to ask before entering an intercultural marriage:

1) What are your spiritual beliefs? Do you attend church? Do you read the Bible or other religious books? How involved are you in spiritual activities?

2) What types of food and drink do you enjoy? At what times do you typically eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner? How often do you go out to eat? Do you like to cook?

3) Which holidays do you celebrate? What traditions and foods does your family enjoy on these holidays?

4) Are you an early bird or a night owl? How does this affect your daily schedule? What does your “perfect day” look like?

5) Do you consider yourself an optimist, a pessimist, a realist, or something else? When you face a difficult situation, what tends to be your first response?

6) How do you deal with interpersonal conflict? Do you tend to fight or take flight? How did your family of origin handle conflict?

7) What type of work do you do? What type of work do you expect to do after marriage?

8) Do you plan to attend graduate school or seminary, get additional work training, or take other educational courses after marriage?

9) What is your current financial situation? How much debt do you have?

10) Do you want to have children? If so, how many, and when? What is your perspective on marital intimacy? Do you believe in using birth control?  

11) How would you describe your relationship with your parents, siblings, and other family members? What was your parents’ marriage like?

If you’re in an intercultural marriage (or considering one) and you are looking for helpful resources on the topic, check these out:

Additional Resources for Intercultural Couples

Intercultural Marriage: Promises and Pitfalls, 3rd edition, by Dugan Romano

Mixed Matches by Joel Crohn

101 Questions to Ask Before You Get Engaged by H. Norman Wright and Gary J. Oliver

Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs

The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman

Before You Say I Do by H. Norman Wright

Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts by Les and Leslie Parrott

How to Save Your Marriage Alone by Ed Wheat

Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas

Your Intercultural Marriage: A Guide to a Healthy, Happy Relationship by Marla Alupoaicei

 

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